How to Think More About Sex

How to Think More About Sex

Alain de Botton / Oct 14, 2019

How to Think More About Sex Covering such topics as adultery lust pornography and impotence Alain de Botton argues that st century sex will always be a balancing act of trust versus risk and of primal desire versus studied

  • Title: How to Think More About Sex
  • Author: Alain de Botton
  • ISBN: 9781447202271
  • Page: 346
  • Format: Paperback
  • Covering such topics as adultery, lust, pornography and impotence, Alain de Botton argues that 21st century sex will always be a balancing act of trust versus risk, and of primal desire versus studied civility By examining sex from a subjective perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance.

    How to Think Ways to Sharpen Your Mind Thinking Styles Jun , How to Think Building Your Thinking Capacity Use language to change your thinking Learn widely Use mind building exercises Practice mindfulness Manage your physical and social health Challenge yourself to learn something new every day. How to Think by Alan Jacobs Oct , How to Think is a contrarian treatise on why we re not as good at thinking as we assume but how recovering this lost art can rescue our inner lives from the chaos of modern life As a celebrated cultural critic and a writer for national publications like The Atlantic and Harper s , Alan Jacobs has spent his adult life belonging to communities that often clash in America s culture wars. How to Think A Survival Guide for a World at Odds Alan How to Think is a contrarian treatise on why we re not as good at thinking as we assume but how recovering this lost art can rescue our inner lives from the chaos of modern life As a celebrated cultural critic and a writer for national publications like The Atlantic and Harper s , Alan Jacobs has spent his adult life belonging to communities that often clash in America s culture wars. How to Think facultyorgetown The single most important skill you should take away from your college years is how to think and think well how to look at an argument, evaluate it, decide on how reasonable it is, and make one of your own Of course, college is certainly about learning new facts about the world, storing up names, dates, events, formulas, and texts, all of which make you a well informed individual. How to Think MIT Technology Review Nov , When I applied for my faculty job at the MIT Media Lab, I had to write a teaching statement One of the things I proposed was to teach a class called How to Think How to Think Faster, More Efficiently and Accurately Be Fast Thinking vs Efficient, Accurate Thinking Your ability to think fast depends on your brain s processing speed Processing speed is defined as the time it takes your brain to take in new information, reach some judgment on it, and then formulate a response. How to think, not what to think Jesse Richardson Oct , He believes the key to engaging future generations is to teach them how, and not what, to think Jesse Richardson is a creative director with over How to Think Critically and Problem Solve Life skills Steps to Critical Thinking As It Relates To Problem Solving Identify the Problem The first task is to determine if a problem exists Analyze the problem, look at it from different angles Brainstorm and come up with a several possible solutions Problems can be solved in many ways Decide How to Think A Survival Guide for a World at How to Think is a contrarian treatise on why we re not as good at thinking as we assume but how recovering this lost art can rescue our inner lives from the chaos of modern life As a celebrated cultural critic and a writer for national publications like The Atlantic and Harper s , Alan Jacobs has spent his adult life belonging to communities that often clash in America s culture wars. How to Train Your Mind to Think Critically and Form Your Practice Any Way You Can As with anything, if you want to get good at critical thinking, you need to practice it every day A lot of this can certainly be done in your own head, but you can do exercises to whip your brain into shape Generally, one easy way to do this is to keep a journal of some kind.

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    About "Alain de Botton"

      • Alain de Botton

        Alain de Botton is a writer and television producer who lives in London and aims to make philosophy relevant to everyday life He can be contacted by email directly via alaindebottonHe is a writer of essayistic books, which refer both to his own experiences and ideas and those of artists, philosophers and thinkers It s a style of writing that has been termed a philosophy of everyday life His first book, Essays in Love titled On Love in the US , minutely analysed the process of falling in and out of love The style of the book was unusual, because it mixed elements of a novel together with reflections and analyses normally found in a piece of non fiction It s a book of which many readers are still fondest.Bibliography Essays In Love 1993 The Romantic Movement 1994 Kiss and Tell 1995 How Proust Can Change Your Life 1997 The Consolations of Philosophy 2000 The Art of Travel 2002 Status Anxiety 2004 The Architecture of Happiness 2006 The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work 2009


    392 Comments

    1. I've heard about Alain de Botton's book How To Think More About Sex from so many people, I decided I had to read it. Their reviews were excellent -- "It's like hearing David Attenborough narrate various sexual situations and philosophize about them at the same time!" one of them said. I enjoy sex. I dig philosophy. I am a huge fan of nature documentaries, especially those narrated or presented by the aforementioned British broadcaster -- so how could I possibly resist? I picked up the little boo [...]


    2. The latest in my reading series "Books With Titles That Get Me Funny Looks On The Bus" -- all part of an ongoing project to keep my own special brand of social awkwardness thriving.Cheeky title aside, this is an interesting look at the various ways in which sexuality informs (and warps) our lives. In particular, it is geared towards readers in committed relationships struggling with the mundane, powerful realities of everyday life that can make trying to remain a sexual being with the person you [...]


    3. When I showed my friend this book, he said it looked like something Carrie of Sex and the City would read. I sneered. This book? Alain De Botton’s slim volume on the philosophy of sexuality, a book so hip there’s not even a picture on the cover, just a serif font and the author’s name? Pfft. Yeah. Right. Screw yew, dude. This thing was written for the under-sexed, under-Benzo’d undergraduate. So I sat down and started reading it. De Botton gets off to an obvious but well-stated start. We [...]


    4. I like Alain de Botton, and I hate self help books. Now de Botton spearheaded a new series of philosophical self help books, the first one by him. So, he says some weird things in this book, all of which are pointed out by the many reviews below. I liked the book a lot, I think because this is the only book I've ever read that tackles the themes of sex, long term commitment, love, attraction, etc in such a clear and simple way. He does say a lot of weird things (like, the way to make your partne [...]


    5. I have tried, and failed, to love Alain de Botton's other books after reading (and loving) The Consolations of Philosophy. This book is a pathetic attempt at explanations for why we behave the way that we do about sex. De Botton has somehow managed to categorize sexual experiences into very stereotypical, Hollywood-esque boxes that are in no way reflective of reality. The book also contains some very boring attempts at humor, that are neither funny nor witty in any way. Ugh. Alain de Botton is n [...]


    6. So far I thought «Ass Goblins of Auschwitz» would be pretty safely the worst book I've read in 2013, but now I'm not too sure anymore. This book basically is a mix of the worst of Freud, the worst of evolutionary psychology and – for good measure – adds lots of naturalistic fallacies. Put this all in a blender and you end up with this mess… Got any fetishes? Let's grab some Freud. Oh, and evolution made sure sex in relationships will get boring after time, don't rebel against it, it's na [...]


    7. "חרף מאמצינו הרבים להשיל מהסקס את המוזרויות שלו, הוא לעולם לא יהיה פשוט או נחמד באופן שאולי היינו רוצים שיהיה. בבסיסו, סקס איננו דמוקרטי או אדיב. הוא כרוך באכזריות, בחריגה מהמוסר ובתשוקה לכיבוש ולהשפלה. הוא מסרב להתיישב בצורה מסודרת עם אהבה, כפי שהוא אמור. "ספר המרכז באופן תמצי [...]


    8. I have always had ambivalent feelings towards Alain de Botton. On one hand, I hate the fact that he simplifies everything and on the other hand, I'm fascinated with his ability to make the most complicated concepts understandable for everyone. anyway, I cannot but admit that he has a broad knowledge about many things! "How to Think more About Sex" is not his best, yet it is an interesting and easy read. If you are looking for a simple reading of Freud, that doesn't go deep into all his sophistic [...]


    9. The title is misleading; it could (accurately) be renamed as HOW TO THINK ABOUT SEX IN A MORE INTERESTING WAY. It's a little chapbook, this, really, not terribly ambitious, but full of lovely writing and the more than occasional arresting thought. He's very good on pornography, very good on how sex is a bear, particularly insightful on Our Culture's misunderstanding of fidelity, or perhaps I should say its unuseful way of regarding that concept. I read paragraphs of this aloud to friends. It's s [...]


    10. Has some flaws but really lucid and astute. Has problematic aspects that made me cringe a number of times while reading. But I think there are some really interesting ideas in it, as long as you don't take them too far, or read them too literally. I do feel like he's writing from his own very personal experience and perspective, but then bringing in bits and pieces of theory to support it. It kind of reminds me of the kind of thing Naomi Woolf does, when she takes her experience and then writes [...]


    11. Having read some of the other reviews, I’ve decided instead of simply reviewing the material, I’d put in my bit to perhaps to defend this book. The title, and reactions to it (“Oh, I definitely need to read that” or “I’m embarrassed this will appear on the top of my 2013 book list”) demonstrate the need for this book. I’m quite relieved my copy is the little one with a modest cover which another person can’t see me reading. De Botton addresses the way in which we think about se [...]


    12. I had great hopes for this book but was somewhat disappointed. It is a very short book at least on the Kindle. Only 1339 locations. The fact that the print length is 185 pages tells me that the printed version of the book is loaded with white space Botton will make a pithy observation, and you will think oh this is going to be good. Then he keeps writing and the pithy thoughts turn into somewhat boring sentences that turn into words that turn into letters that turn into pixels on my Kindle's scr [...]


    13. This is a short book, an extended essay in the School of Life, which is a kind of philosophical self-help venture that all of Alain de Botton's work has been leading up to seemingly. That said, I really enjoy his particular take on life--I get the sense that many men do not share this attitude. Much of his take on sex may strike one as overly conservative, but the idea that human nature remains essentially unchanged even as our expectations and trappings of life change is convincing to me. The p [...]


    14. Well I don't think it's a masterpiece nor a must read; but it's good to read it once in a lifetime." we might be so much better off if we didn't have a sex drive; for most of our lives, it causes us nothing but trouble and distress. In its name we do revolting things with people we don't really like, only to feel disgusting and sinful afterwards. Those we desire usually dismiss us for being too ugly or not their type; the cute ones have always already got a boyfriend or a girlfriend; most of our [...]


    15. As I was reading How to Think About Sex, I posted: Mayhap Alain de Botton is on to something here—to replace the usual vows and platitudes with something more cautionary, downbeat, pragmatic: “I promise to be disappointed by you and you alone. I promise to make you the sole repository of my regrets, rather than to distribute them widely through multiple affairs and a life of sexual Don Juanism. I have surveyed the different options for unhappiness, and it is you I have chosen to commit to. [...]


    16. Picked this one up for free at NEIBA.I love the idea -- A little school in a storefront with a mission to help people live wisely and well. Sweet, well-meaning. Unfortunately, as of p.49, it seems like the author of this volume is a sad person who is projecting his disappointments as "universal." I think there is a lot of negative opinion here that is offered as "fact." It is readable and parts of it are fun -- I'll keep going, and see if my opinion changes by the end.Here's what I can appreciat [...]


    17. My conclusion is this poor man has had some very bad sexual experiences. Why else would someone write this: "We might be so much better off if we didn’t have a sex drive; for most of our lives it causes nothing but trouble and distress. In its name, we do revolting things with people we don’t really like, only to feel disgusting and sinful afterwards." How sad. But how horrible that he feels he has the ability to write a "sexual self-help" book for other people!The book is also blandly conve [...]


    18. My friend used to tell me that he didn't understand why many people made a big deal out of sex and then I told him that "yeah, it's a really big taboo in Asian country". So rather than think about it wrongly, I guess it's better to learn it more properly through books. Alain de Botton is well known by his another book "on love" (vietnamese transalation is available), so it must be good for a read.This book clearly does not teach us how to have more intense or more frequent sex, but rather to sug [...]


    19. Who isn't interested in sex? This book is a quick and entertaining read, and while it doesn't answer all one's questions about sex--how could it? Sex is too complex for easy answers--it does provide some interesting insights. Most of us are attracted to people who radiate health and well-being. Sometimes people are unaware of their real feelings--e.g subtle anger--that could result in sexual withdrawal. The regularity and security of marriage isn't great for sex (although some sex therapists dis [...]


    20. I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed with the book. Despite a great amount of insight littered throughout, there's an equal amount of weaknesses. Mildly thought provoking, albeit unsubstantiated, opinions about what excites us and how we choose partners but it’s all downhill from there. Alain de Botton presents some stark and sobering realities of sex and offers up several dilemmas that he intends to explore. However, his idea of exploration is more like flip-flopping on specific issues . Fir [...]


    21. This book is not mind blowing or life changing in any way, unless you have never given much thought about the place of sex in our modern society. At best, it opens your eyes to what could be if we were a little morally upset when it comes to sex. It is very well written, though


    22. I found some of the ideas in 'How to Think More About Sex' interesting and found the writing style sharp, sometimes amusing, sometimes erotic. However, I've thought rather a lot about sex before and did not find most of this book to be as perception changing as some I've read. I would say it is a good starting point, but to proceed with caution. Take it all literally and you will find yourself caught up in a Freudian inspired 'hysteria', crying over a wrist watch that subconsciously reminds you [...]


    23. Alain de Botton's name climbed up on my to-read list because of his wonderful YouTube channel 'School of Life', and when I found an audiobook of this short book I took the chance to finally 'read' some of his work.The title feels a bit like the bookish variant on clickbait, and could have been called 'How to think about sexuality' or 'How Alain de Botton thinks about sexuality'.In the beginning I was quite charmed by this book. He starts with the taboos still resting on sex (which in 'liberated [...]


    24. It's a philosophy book, okay?Passages that I loved:*It could sound disgusting -- and that's the point. Nothing is erotic that isn't also, with the wrong person, revolting, which is precisely what makes erotic moments so intense: at the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height, we find only welcome and permission.*We were bothered by sex because it is a fundamentally disruptive, overwhelming and demented force, strongly at odds with the majority of our ambitions it refuses to sit nea [...]


    25. This book is limited in what it accomplishes and is not the book the title and description would lead one to believe. de Botton takes a lot of things for granted and narrowly focuses on a type of very bland, monogamous, heterosexual married sex. As a result, the book reads as more of a how-to for coping with one's sex life post-marriage and the blandness that this is likely to entail. It does not speak to the wide and varied world of sex I was expecting to encounter and outright ignores homosexu [...]


    26. A brief tour into sexology. Alain de Botton's position on sex is that of an irrationalist, he references Freud a lot and talks about base impulses as something we've just got to find a way to live with. There are some good insights into the pleasures and problems of sex, particularly loneliness, sexual rejection, and lack of desire, mixed with a few things that I find questionable. The first is that he'll often shoehorn in philosophy references in a very forced way. Fetishism is very interesting [...]


    27. "Solo le religioni prendono ancora sul serio il sesso", dice il filosofo, tant'è vero che a un certo punto, preso dall'impeto lirico, arriva persino ad affermare che nelle immagini sacre spesso "la madre di Cristo è una gran gnocca". Il problema di de Botton è dimostrare che il sesso, per essere vissuto in maniera soddisfacente, richiede di essere posto sotto un duplice controllo: di una forma di razionalità individuale, sia pure adeguata allo spirito dei tempi - tant'è che l'adulterio vi v [...]


    28. Compré este libro sólo por el título, después de hojearlo brevemente en la caja de una librería si percatarme que fue escrito por Alain de Bottom, de quien ya antes había leído La Arquitectura de la felicidad, El libro es de fácil lectura, pero no por eso, deja de se profundo y reflexivo. Al final me quedo con la idea de que Alan sólo busca ayudarnos a enfrentar a los demonios con los que luchamos los seres humanos y que nos pueden alejar de Ma felicidades y el sexo o la falta de éste, [...]


    29. Alain de Botton's title is probably too clever for its own good. He means "How to be more thoughtful about sex" rather than "how to think about sex more frequently." This is, of course, the joke; but it evades most readers / browsers (the title DOES make the book a funny one to read in public - I read a lot of it at a bar around the corner).De Botton IS very thoughtful about sex and I'm glad I read the book. It does a good job highlighting the very human frailties sex & sexuality bring into [...]


    30. Spicuiri din recenzia finala care se poate gasi pe blogul meu.Unul dintre capitole mi s-a părut a fi plasat exact la limita dintre prostie şi umor. Alain de Botton ne propune pornografia intelectuală: femei frumoase pozând citind sau privind meditativ în camera de video-chat. Iniţial am crezut că e o glumă (trebuie să recunosc, totuşi, faptul că nu stă prost la capitolul umor). Nu, nu era o glumă. Era o propunere marca Alain de Botton ca şi atitudinea religioasă pe care ne-o prezi [...]


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